Soup Is the Answer. Almost Always.
There are very few things in this world that make me happier than making a big fucking pot of soup. Not because soup is complicated. It isn’t. That’s the beauty of it. Soup is one of those rare foods that…
Being Broke Isn’t a Personality Trait. It’s a Tuesday. Here’s How to Eat Anyway.
I’ve cooked in fine dining kitchens where a single plate cost more than most people’s weekly grocery budget, and I’ve cooked on a coffee truck where I did math in my head to figure out if I could afford both…
Butter Is Basically a Secret Weapon
There are some things professional kitchens do that nobody bothers to tell you. Not because they’re difficult. Not because they’re some mystical chef knowledge handed down from Escoffier through a secret underground society of cooks. They’re just little habits. And…
Your Food Tastes Flat? Here’s the Chef Trick You’re Probably Missing
There are few things more frustrating than tasting something you’ve just cooked and thinking: Why the hell does this taste so flat? So you add more salt. You taste it again. Still flat. So you add more salt. Now you’ve…
Stop Googling “How to Fix My Dinner” — This Field Guide Already Has the Answer
It’s 6:47pm. Dinner’s supposed to be on the table in thirteen minutes. And your sauce — the one that was thick and glossy and perfect twenty minutes ago — has decided to become soup. So you do what everyone does.…
Get Your Shit Together Before You Turn On the Stove
Mise en Place Isn’t a French Word, It’s a Survival Strategy Everyone treats “mise en place” like it’s some fancy garnish you sprinkle over a recipe to make it sound legit. It’s not a garnish. It’s the whole damn meal.…
Knives That Don’t Suck
Let me tell you something about knife culture in professional kitchens. It’s a whole thing. Cooks are weirdly possessive about their knives. Like, don’t touch my knife possessive. And when you look around and panic and see that someone put…
Arriba, Abajo, Al Centro, Pa’ Dentro
Arriba, Abajo, Al Centro, Pa’ Dentro There are certain phrases that instantly tell you people are about to have a good time. In Mexico, one of them is:“Arriba, abajo, al centro, pa’ dentro!” And if you’ve ever been at a…
Why Did You Wash Your Hands Then?
Why Did You Wash Your Hands Then? One thing kitchens teach you fast is that people love pretending they’re clean while doing absolutely filthy things. Case in point:washing your hands properly…and then drying them on a disgusting wet dish towel…
Your Oven Is Lying to You
Your Oven Is Lying to You One of the biggest scams in home cooking is that little beep your oven makes when it says it’s preheated. No it isn’t. Your oven hits the target temperature for about four seconds, screams…